Life according to the truth of Jesus
When we get married, we do it as a life time commitment and no one.....no one goes into a marriage ready and prepared for the death of a spouse.
We dream up our fairy tale wedding day and continue to dream what we would like to have out of life. There is nothing wrong with it. I believe it's how it should be and no one should go into one of the biggest days of their lives ready to say good bey. (Unless of course you are already aware of the inevitable)
So, there I was, 20 years old and my folks needed to move to another city and I just did not see myself going along. So I did the only thing I knew and I prayed to God that He please, either give me a sensible room/flat mate who loves Him, has a proper job and of course to please bless me with a better job than the one I currently had, or..... "please let a man take me as his wife, and let him serve You wholeheartedly and be stronger than me, teach me Your word and well, as a bonus, have cycling legs." (gotta love the young at heart)
This was around May of 1996. In September, to be more specific, the 21st our house hold went to the Whale Festival in Hermanus, Cape Town, South Africa, to participate in a number of the multiple sporting events of the weekend. There were altogether 12 athletes among us and about 10 supporters. That Saturday a young man came through to be the cyclist in a three man triathlon team. I wouldn't give him the time of day!
But as the weekend went, we ended up speaking about two sentences to each other.
Sunday evening we're all back in Cape Town and decide to end the weekend off with a church service. As we all gather at church in Milnerton, it seems to be absolutely jam packed. No space at all. After worship the only seat I could find was.....Jip, you guessed it, next to this same young man I would not give the time of day!
To top it all off, the minister preaches on "Assurance in the choices we make". Great! I'm sitting next to someone I don't want to speak to and then we hear a preaching on assurance and confirmation! It can't get any better than this! Here comes another jab for you, the minister ends the evening by announcing we need to turn to the person next to us and ask what they would like confirmation or assurance on and pray. There was absolutely, undoubtedly, emphatically NO way I was praying with this guy! No way sirree!!! And, the Lord must have thought it all quite funny and to humor me He made this young man feel the same way, he turned to someone else as I literally bolted from my seat to the first person who looked disoriented.
After all this, we go out side for my lift I had come with also happened to have this young man's bicycle on the back of his car. I dare you to take a moment and imagine what happened next..............................
He asked what I needed confirmation on! It was none of his business and I told him that much. He was a little pushy and dared ask me "So, how do you picture your husband to one day be?" Excuse me!
My reply....."He'll come on a tri-bicke" (Meaning a bicycle designed specifically for the purpose of triathlon) He very quietly reaches past me and takes his TRIATHLON BICYCLE off the car.................. And dares, yes DARES to say, "Like this one?"
It must have worked because when he came past the place I worked at on Tuesday and asked to come see me on Thursday evening at my home, I said, "yes".
Thursday came, and what is on my mind after training when I get home? "O, Lord, please let him bring me a gift that I might know he is the one I should marry, and don't let it be flowers." I stopped and thought to myself, what is this?! Women, what's wrong with you?! You don't even know the guy!
Lo and behold, he pitches up with what? A tiny little gift bag (which I have so desired to one day receive a gift in cause all my friends got their gifts in these and I never did) filled with my favorite fruit, strawberry's! (We only bought them on very special occasions cause we were in financial dire at that time).
Man, God is smart, let me tell you.
That night we spoke of our dreams and what God had spoken over us or to us and without me knowing, God was confirming to him that I am his wife through my every word. How is that for genius! Believe it or not, he asked me right there to marry him. I said 'yes'.
Three months later, on the 22 December 1996 we were married.
We attended Bible school together through 1997 (my first and his second year). We wept as we lost our first baby on my 21st birthday. We rejoiced as we received our eldest in our arms a year later. We went through out tests, trials, tribulations, troubles and temptations together as the Lord was preparing us for our venture to another nation. In 1998 we were ordained and in August that year we were sent to help a fellow ministry couple start a work in Germany.
Although we went through many things we were blessed with two more children. We had a full life. No matter what we went through weather from youthful foolishness, mistakes or down right suffering just because we were who we were, we still had Jesus and He really took care of us. We experienced so many miracles (I'll share some of them as I write new posts). We learnt SO much.
When our third child was seven months old, my husband fell ill over night, really, no lie. He was as strong as an ox the one day and came home deadly ill the next. The GP was convinced it was a common cold and ordered sleep and paracetamol for fever.
It was a torturous night. By dawn I had run him a bath and struggled to get three babies sorted and as I did all this, I realized, something is very, very wrong! Right in that moment the Holy Spirit stepped in and I functioned in another dimension. I had such a calm wash over me. I phoned a friend who had been a paramedic for years to give us a lift to the hospital ( I didn't have a licence yet as I wasn't allowed one till I was legally a German citizen, which we could only accomplish by re-marrying in a German magistrates court) I found someone who would help out with the children for a couple of hours and took them there.
On 24 March 2001 at 00:50 he went to be with the Lord.
Now, the thing is, in that moment, I had a choice. I could die with him or choose to live.
Sounds ac-ward to make a statement like this, but it's true. I was a 24 year old woman, with three children aged 2 years, 1 year and a 7 month old, in a foreign country under extenuating circumstances. When you are alone, and I mean, totally alone, the only thing you want to do is die. Everything seems hopeless. But, we have a merciful, loving, fair God. And by His Spirit I chose life.
It would be easy to throw all my toys out my cot but if I am honest, I see Jesus never leaves me, and He prepared me for this, what seemed to be, my darkest hour. Yes, He did. I had a year and half of Bible school training learning how to hear God speak to me through an open Bible. I was baptized in His Holy Spirit, I was baptized in water. He spoke to me in dreams and audibly for two whole years before it all happened.
While I was pregnant with our third born I had a dream in which I sat next to my husbands hospital bed and he died. I remember how I spoke in the dream and so spoke myself awake as I cried and said; "Lord, You can have him but mot because of his heart!" (He was born with a heart defect yet, through Jesus overcame it's limitations and lived a full life)
Then, one day I find him reading a book entitled "Anointed for Burial" (It was about a missionary family in Cambodia) Then one morning as all three little ones were napping and I was packing up washing and singing with a song that spoke about laying down your life even if it means death when I heard the Lord ask me "Will you die for ME?" I said "yes" He asked me two more times and each time it was a bit harder to answer but I still replied "yes". The, He asked, "Will you give Me your husband?" I stopped dead in my tracks. Again, the voice came; "Will you give Me your husband?" I breathed deeply and replied, "Yes Lord, If that's what You want." After his death the Lord took me back to prophetic utterances over my life and so many, without directly using the words "your husband will die" actually described his death.
So I was comforted in the fact, that God isn't a spoil sport, unfair, bully, or as I've heard some say "a chess player with our lives". He is a loving Father.
He sent a kinsman redeemer to take me and my three children as his own. He has loved us, as if we never ever before belonged to another.
The Lord blessed us with another child. We serve in the same church not as missionaries but as active members of a healthy body doing our part. And here is how we know even more so, beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves us! My husband for the past nine years, came from a family where his mother passed away when he and his brother were pre-teens, and his father married a widow with .....three daughters. My husband says, to him, it was normal. He saw no impossibility in it.
Now this is what I'm trying to say by sharing my story in the shortest way I can think of. God's Word is TRUE. He NEVER leaves us nor forsakes us. His promises are yea and amen. He has good plans for us, not to harm us but to give us a future and a hope. He has innumerable plans, His thoughts toward us are of peace.
He prepared both my husbands just for me! How amazing is that!!!!
The one He used to pull me from a side walk around the rim of a trap, to teach me what unconditional love looks like so I can at least see and experience it to have faith and hope it exists. This love that forgives no matter what and then keeps on loving as though the faults never happened. And then He was the seed planted in our lives that was continually watered by the Lord through a body of believers and then He gives us to a man who He prepared from child hood to love us till we're whole again and to be the quiet confidence and strength in our lives.
My daughter lovingly calls him, "Our gentle giant". They have called him dad from before we were married. They all see him as their father. God gives us all things that pertain to life and godliness - the full spectrum of life. Life with its gains and losses, victories and defeats, it's 'get it right's' and mistakes, the good, bad and ugly, the joys and the heart aches.
I had received a specific word at least four or five times since my first husband passed - Is 30:15 "In returning and rest you shall be saved, In quietness an confidence shall be your strength"
I never understood why the Lord kept on giving me this word through other believers, and then last year again, but this time He said - "this is your husband, this is who he is for you"
My husband (that I'm married to now) is a man of quiet confidence, and I had fought it so hard for many many years, blinded by so much pain (not the pain of the loss of my late husband as much as from deep traumas from childhood till then) that I could not handle this quiet confidence, but when my "ou-boet" gave me this word, it all made sense. This quiet confidence in my husband chizeld and chipped at the hard resolve I had around me until there was nothing left. All that was needed was a gentle wind to finally blow against it and it all fell off like dust. His quiet confidence is what God used to save me. When we are gently nudged into a place of quiet, we begin to hear what is going on in our own minds and hears and we begin to hear God. And it isn't always nice, and that is why I resisted it so hard. I did not want to deal with what I was hearing.
Salvation is a continual thing in our lives. Every area needs to be saved. We give our lives in one decision and then slowly but surely every area has to yield to His authority. We find out what these areas are when we become still and hear.
Jesus loves us. He loves us so much that He knows exactly what to use to save us out of that which the enemy of our soul spent so much time trying to trap us in. It is the Devil who steal, kills and destroys, not Jesus.
We need to put all our experiences behind the truth of His Word, then life comes into it's proper perspective - prophet Nola Pelser.
This means that when things happen that seem totally unfair,devastating or whatever descriptive word we can think of, if we put it behind the TRUTH, we will understand it. And it does take time. But continually yield to His Spirit, to His Word, guarantees that the breakthrough of understanding WILL come.
I am completely convinced of Jesus' ability to redeem, restore, rebuild, save and make new, I have no fear in what the enemy of our soul has done or tries to do. There is nothing that this life can throw at us that Jesus is not able to counter.
We can not live this life on earth with out Him. Nothing makes sense if He is not in it.
Come to Jesus, Come now!
Confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus Christ and believe in your heart the God raised Him from the dead. Rom 10:9 - 11
Can you hear are you listening
Can you hear are you listening
My voice is on the wind
And it roars through the thunder
Can you hear are you listening
My wisdom is pure and peaceable
It is gentle and willing to yield
It's full of mercy
Full of good fruits
Can you hear are you listening
I teach you through My oracles
I love the one whom I correct
I instruct you as your Father
I embrace you as My son
Can you hear are you listening
Come home to Me!
I'm waiting for you!
Won't you come on home to Me
Just come on home to Me
(C) Celeste Glass