One of the most important things I have ever told my children.
That is; “I can never be disappointed in you.”
A year ago, as I was gonging through a tough time, condemning myself for mistakes I had made and how I feel I have disappointed God, the church, my husband and children, the Lord ministers through the apostle in the church as he preached and in his sermon mentioned that Jesus can never be disappointed by us because He knows what is in us and He knows we will make mistakes, and that there will be areas in which we fail. He died for all that remember. And Jesus is not embarrassed by us. We might be embarrassed by ourselves or others, but He isn’t. He knows us because He created us, He sees us daily. He knows what dwells in the heart of man. He died even for the embarrassing things we get up to.
I cannot explain the relief that washed over me and the freedom I felt. The freedom of knowing that I can just be me, and obey the Word as best I can and continually resign myself to Jesus and He will do the work and complete it.
Now, how about my children and husband?
Aren’t they also the workmanship of Christ, destined for good works? The same Jesus, who died for me, isn’t embarrassed by me nor disappointed, is the same Jesus who isn’t disappointed in them and not embarrassed by them, so who am I to be so harsh then?
I have learnt, through the teaching of the Word of God through the apostles, that I am only disappointed in someone when I had unrealistic expectations of them. If I expect nothing, except for what they are willing to give, then I can’t be disappointed. It comes back to the point of, having a sane estimation of myself then I will also have a sane estimation of others, otherwise known as; humility.
The embarrassment I am taking about is not the one where the word says “A child is not to bring shame on his father”, I am talking about times when we are embarrassed by our children because of our selfish pride, when our image is so much more important than the wellbeing of our children.
So with this said, one of our children hit a bit of a wobble last year as they are also working out their own salvation through fear and trembling, and I was faced with a relatively drastic situation and I needed answers fast.
As I was sitting with them, calm came over me and I heard the Holy Spirit say; “Tell them, you are not disappointed in them, for they are children and will make mistake, and that foolishness is in their heart for the Word says so.” I did it, calmly and in such a gentle way that it is only the Holy Spirit. So I repeated the words and explained that while they are young, folly will be in their hearts, but with correction and discipline the folly will be driven out and there will be room to grow in wisdom.
What a release it brought! The fear left, they confessed the crime (and it was a crime) and Jesus could get the job He wanted to do, done.
You see by me obeying the Holy Spirit in this, it lead to a deep trust between my child and me and from there I could explain why I believe there was a deeper root to the incident than just the wrongful act committed. So I could make an appointment for Theophostic ministry and the root was exposed, the child set free from the bondage of deep heart ache caused by the loss of family relationships. They could hear the Holy Spirit clearly reveal the truth to them and they have only grown from strength to strength from there.
Our children need to trust us, and when they come to their pre-teen and teen years, even though we have worked hard to build trust in their younger years, they often because of their insecurities feel they can never confess the wrong they have done. It is pivotal that we continue to establish and strengthen trust between us and our children in these shaky teen years. We know how our minds work and how we listen to the whispers of the enemy of our soul when we have sinned, now, how much more not our children.
I find the more I reminded my children, all four of them, that I cannot be disappointed in them, I am not allowed to be, because Jesus isn’t disappointed in me because He knows the foolishness in my heart, He knows my weaknesses, strengths, abilities and inabilities, then who am I to be disappointed in them? This has strengthened our bond so much more. Confessions happen quickly, from silly little things to what is big to them. In this they have learned that I love them no matter what. It sets them free from the law of sin and death. Yes, sin leads to death, but Jesus came to give us life through repentance and faith in His name. Then we come to a place where we function in the realm of the Spirit that gives life instead of the letter that kills. In this we also begin to teach them mercy.
See, I wanted my child to receive punishment for this act of foolishness they committed, because if it had not been in the safe environment in which it happened (it happened in church to someone who is a member of our church) and with someone who is full of mercy and grace because they know what Jesus had saved them from, they could have ended up with a record and a trip to the police station. But, my husband (in my then self-righteous eyes) did not punish our child in the way I felt it had to have been done. But, the faithful Holy Spirit spoke to me again and said, “It is My mercy revealed. Teach your child about the sheer mercies of David that comes through Jesus.”
You see we have prophesies that say this child will be known as merciful, and so to train them to be such, would it not then be appropriate to show mercy as well. Mercy is undeserved favor; it is being exonerated for something when you should have received punishment. And the fruit this has yielded in this child’s life. They’re not perfect, but now, they have a testimony of being merciful at school.
When dramatic situations happen, they’re the first to bring perspective and show mercy.
God’s ways are so much higher than ours, and if I had freeked out and yelled my disappointment at my child, then this event that the Lord allowed to happen so that a much deeper and bigger issue could be exposed and dealt with and healing and understanding come forth would never have happened. The lies the devil whispered in their ears would have become even stronger. But by allowing the Holy Spirit to lead the way in this situation, and by giving Him control, and by subjecting my emotions to the Spirit of God, Jesus could reveal Himself to my child in a much deeper and cleared way than before. It deepened they love for the Lord and the things of God in their lives.
We need so much help in changing our perspectives on God and having our minds renewed, but thank the Lord for giving us His blessed Holy Spirit. Without Jesus, His Word, the Holy Spirit and His church where would we be?
May the Lord help us to give over more and more to Him so our lives and the lives of our children can be what He is shaping it into being. And may we continue to draw on His wisdom to help us raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
(c) Celeste Glass
(c) Celeste Glass