Beauty of Marriage
The more the wife submits, the more it draws her husband’s heart to love her.
In other words it is a cycle, formulating a bond of trust
with equal responsibility.
The one can’t go without the other”.
Another picture of God’s love toward us is depicted in Eph.5 from v25 to 33 where the Apostle Paul writes on the resemblance between husband and wife – Christ and His church. When we read the whole chapter we see that in verse one the Apostle Paul commands us to imitate God and live a life filled with love by following the example of Christ. It’s a beautiful book to meditate through but especially chapter five, it is so rich. So now here in the section from v25 to v33 we read about marriage. When we look at Phil.2 we see how Jesus emptied Himself of all His royal privileges and comfort, and not only took on the form of man, but the lowliest of forms, that of a servant – someone everybody looks down on because all we hear and see everywhere including some churches today is to be powerful, to be seen, to be elevated – the man with the power for the hour. Yet we learn from scripture that Jesus was humble, not loud, few noticed Him or recognised Him when He walked down the street because He was ordinary. They only knew who He was or how to recognise Him by the words He spoke, by the way He conducted Himself and the crowds milling about Him everywhere He went. Yet He washed His disciples feet, He exercised meekness and hung on the cross and while there in the most excruciating pain ever imaginable, He doesn’t call down vengeance, or reviles insults, no, He saves a soul and comforts His mother by making sure she is taken care of. WOW! Now looking at how He emptied Himself and how He lived on earth we have an example for all our lives, but even more so, husbands now have a
picture of how to love their wives and wives have a picture of how to submit to a higher authority.
A man, while still living with his family has very little cares, very little responsibility and everything is covered; place to stay, no rent, food a plentiful, a car at his disposal and privileges. When he makes up his mind to take a wife, he has to leave the comfort of that home with all its privileges, he has to empty himself of ambition and start to take responsibility for finding a suitable and safe place to call home, of being able to provide and care for her and at the same time treat her in such a way that she becomes all she can be and reflects back on him in a most glorious way so that she is beautiful for him to behold. The better he looks after her, the greater he feels about himself. She begins to represent and shine forth all His love, all his hard work and dedication. He keeps his place as a son, who can come to his father for help, advice, wisdom and sometimes even care for the both of them, but he does not rely on his privileges as a son to cover his wife’s needs or that his parents now have to look after her as well, but rather takes responsibility to work it out with the humility that he can go to his father for guidance. He will always be welcome in the family home, even if it is for short periods of time for care for the both of them, but he no longer resides there permanently.
Husbands are head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, Saviour of His body. There is a lot of emphasis put on a man having to rule his house but very few actually teach men how to do this (Titus 2v1-8; Titus 1v6-9) Though Titus 1 speaks of Bishops, all men should conduct themselves according to these patterns. No man should have to force his authority on his wife and children, he should not have to lord over them to attain some form of respect or response. Jesus worked quietly, gently and in meekness and humility – He served. There is an immense authority in these principles. My husband is quiet, doesn’t talk much, serves us with humility – but his authority and weightiness is surely felt. It has been reported over and over how afraid some people or young men are of him – turns out those who fear him are the very ones who are rebellious and sly. It has also on numerous occasions been testified how his quiet presence has just made others feel safe, secure, that things will be O.K. (Isaiah 30v15) Working gently with people increases their confidence and desire to improve, to do better, to overcome. Jesus worked gently with people. Yes He rebuked firmly and sternly those who lead others astray, resisted the truth and made a mockery of His Father and the word and defiled His temple. But the rest He led gently. It is a quiet assurance and a quiet confidence that shows faith, power and authority. Meekness is a great power and great strength because it is the ability to rain in your strength or ability to overpower a situation and rather operate in a manner that helps others grow and mature.
If I as a wife want to be whole, my dreams fulfilled and feel accepted and covered and loved, then I first have to receive my husband as he is. I have to fully accept and receive him just as he is, warts and all, the failures and the successes, the good with the not so good, the things that drew me to him as well as the things that grate my flesh. Receive and accept who he is, an engineer, a doctor, a missionary, a businessman, an athlete or any of a list of professions. And then submit to the Christ in him. To rejoice in the things that are good and beautiful, and just write down, only once, the things I don’t like, the things that hurt, the things that are painful to behold, and give it to God in prayer, with much thanks giving and rejoicing that He works it all out, then tear it up and throw it away and never remember it again! Look at my husband through the eyes of Jesus, see him by the spirit, identify Christ within him and submit to Gods process. Submit to how God uses my husband in my life to bring forth that desired effect of holiness, grace, kindness and peace, meekness – all the fruits of submission listed in 1 Peter 3, 1Timothy 3v11. When we receive our husbands, and allow them to be our saviours, we unlock within them that potential and ability to be everything listed in Ephesians 5 and in 1 Timothy 3.
· Ex.21v22; Deut.22v22 & 24v4; 2 Sam.11v26; Est.1v17, 20; Pr.12v4; 31v11; 31v23; 31v28; Joel 1v8
· Friend – Jer.3v20
To be a husband:
· To rule
To be given in marriage:
· To be praised – halal – Ps.78v63
To be married:
· Deut.22v22; Jer.3v14; Pr.30v23; Is.62v4
· To cause to sit down or still – Neh.13v23, 27
· To take – Gen.19v14; Num.12v1; 1Chr.2v21
· To lift up – 2Chr.13v21
If we want to be truly whole as individual believers, as families and as churches, then we need to accept and receive the Lordship of Jesus Christ and submit to His authority. He lifts us up out of that state of being destitute, broken and trapped in the mire and with His own body He covers us, He covers our nakedness – that sin that gets exposed. He washes us with His precious blood, the muck and mud and filth from the lies we believed, the thinking and viewpoints we had that are in line with the worlds, the distortion from wrong motives and un-renewed minds. He binds up our wounds and heals our transgressions. A church that fully submits itself to the Lordship of Jesus will be a glorious place where we find a new dimension in which to live, where broken people are made whole, where lives find meaning and direction and we realise and begin to see who we are in Christ. In our own lives we will find rest and peace and quiet and a church given over to the Ruler-ship and Ownership of Jesus will be a place where God’s people receive rest, where they begin to find peace and live and operate from a place of continual rest and continual peace. Let us put on love, which is that bond of perfection (Col.3v14). Christs love covers us, let’s put it on as a covering.
You see the word says; “that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands aught to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body.” (Eph.5v28-30)
You see, Jesus clothes His church with righteousness – we are made right because we are in Him. (2Cor.5v21) When as a wife I receive my husband and submit to him, I am also clothed for he is my covering, his authority is my covering, no one can touch me for if they do they will get to deal with my husband and he defends me and is very jealous over me. The husbands authority over his wife is of such that even when she signs a deal or a contract his authority over rules that signature of hers, so that be it that contract is to her harm, he can annul it. That is what Jesus does for His church if she turns and accepts Him and submits to Him. (Col.2v14) So also Jesus and His church, He is her authority and those who touch His church, His bride will unleash His anger, for He is very jealous and zealous over His church, it’s His bride, she is part of Him, we are part of Him just like I am part of my husband. When the church hurts Jesus hurts, so also with husband and wife. A husband gives up his life to guide and help and teach his wife so she can be all she can be and reach her full potential, Jesus gave up His life so the church, His glorious people, His set apart ones can be complete and perfect lacking no good thing! How does the husband give up everything? When he decides to live for more than just himself; when he makes the effort to care for more than just his own dreams and his own ambitions and when, after Christ, who is first in his life, his wife is his highest priority. Jesus cherishes His church, she is precious to Him, there is nothing He wouldn’t do for her, she is His representation in the earth just like a wife represents her husband and the picture she portrays shows forth what kind of a man he is. Therefore if we as wives neglect to take care of ourselves in the area of comeliness, attitude, the way we speak to them and of them both in front of other people or behind their backs and in front of our children and with our behaviour what do we portray regarding our men? A loud and boisterous woman is a shame to her husband. A study of ”The Blessings of Submission” written by Prophet Nola Pelser is a wonderful study for both husbands and wives. When women submit to their husbands they receive Is.30v15 a returning and rest, quietness and a confidence. If I love my husband, I will submit to him as Christs chosen mantle and covering for me, and in this I unlock in my husband the ability to polish me like a glorious crown on his head (Pr.12v4). My husband washes me then by taking us to church, speaking the word to us as solutions to problems or questions. When his advice and council are grounded in the Word of God, then he washes us. If I love my children I will discipline and chastise them so they can yield fruits of right living. A husband and a wife who have this beautiful relationship is very valuable and they will not speak against each other or reveal each other’s weaknesses and brokenness, therefore we as believers also cannot speak against church for she is the bride of Christ and if we speak against church we speak against Christ for she is bone of His bone and flesh of His flesh. We do not go around mocking our husbands’ dreams or aspirations, nor does he do it with that of his wife – why do we treat church this way then?
Therefore if I truly love Jesus as I profess to do, I will submit myself to His will, His doctrine and be added to His church by being part of a local accurate and well-functioning body of believers.
A church where Jesus is the head will not be starved of His presence, He will manifest Himself to her every time they come together, He will not give revelation contrary to who He is. If I love Jesus I will obey His commandments, I will be added to a local body the entry point to the church in heaven, and I will receive His Lordship and Ownership over my life and His church. I will take up responsibility and begin to do my share in the body toward the furthering of His gospel, and I will disciple someone else and help them grow with the same love and patience Jesus does for me too. Until they become mature and are able to also disciple someone else.
Love – the principle thing. (1 Cor.13v13)
Love stimulates our faith in God. When we begin to understand just how much God really loves us, how great His love truly is, it stirs faith in our hearts to want to push through and obey Him in whatever we are found doing. It stirs our faith to overcome every obstacle there is to overcome in our lives and as churches. When we look at the criteria for love:
Ø Suffers long and is kind – is patient and is kind
Ø Love does not envy – not jealous
Ø Not parade itself – boastful
Ø Is not puffed up – proud
Ø Does not behave rudely – not rude
Ø Does not seek its own – does not demand its own way
Ø Is not provoked – is not irritable
Ø Thinks no evil – keeps no record of being wronged
Ø Does not rejoice in iniquity – does not rejoice about injustice
Ø Rejoices in the truth – rejoices whenever the truth wins out
Ø Bears all things – never gives up
Ø Believes all things – never loses faith
Ø Hopes all things – is always hopeful
Ø Endures all things – endures through every circumstance
Ø Love NEVER fails
Jesus did this for us and continues to love us this way. Through the church we can experience this love, because now it is not dependent on one person to love as perfectly as this, but each of us in the body of Christs disciples have a measure of this love and so when we operate in the measure we have we fill that up in each other. How absolutely incredible is that! I have experienced this in my life, even when I was a young girl in a religious church with lots of un-godly rules, because there were people who sincerely sought after God, they had aspects of love and I experienced these in my life. And as an adult the las twenty years in this blessed body God added us to, we have also experienced this. So despite all the mistakes, and offences we may pick up or go through or cause in church, there is also this complete love in church, the love of Jesus. When we centre all of our lives on Him, then He is the Sun that shines on the moon and we reflect His glory to the peoples who are cold, and hungry and destitute and in darkness. Hallelujah!
“Husband is like the sun and the wife is like the moon,
She absorbs the light from the sun and reflects it,
She does not have light of her own.
So also the husband shines on his wife
And she reflects him back to the world”
Today I celebrate my fifteenth wedding anniversary, and looking back on what God has given me in my husband, I felt to share this excerpt from my book I hope to publish one day, Lord willing.
So this is dedicated to my love, through whom God has restored, built and brought forth so many riches I didn't even know were there. You are a blessing and a most precious gift!
(c) Celeste Glass
 Apostle Dr. Andre Pelser
 New Living Translation| Christian Art Publishers
 Apostle Dr. Andre Pelser